19 - Straight White Male - Western Straya - fandoms (never spammy) - occasional political stuff (usually Australian) - funnies (always entertaining).
1. Cor Blimey, What If Facebook Likes Were The Only Way To Earn a Quid
2. Me Bloody Computer Tried Ta Kill Me, What a Right Corker
3. There Is An App That Can Download You… Well Scary Innit Bruv
4. Me New Misses Is a Android And I Aint Bovvered
5. The Cheeky Gov'na Got A Pic Of Me Bollocks Through Me Webcam
the funniest character headcanons are feral, homophobic and tax evader i dont accept constructive criticism and you cant change my mind
hates the irish, fucks to survive, war criminal
alignment chart
i finally did it. i finally made a video of some of my favorite spongebob quotes in the whole series. i finally fucking did it
I LOVE THAT THEY KEEP PICKING UP MORE OMG
Man, The Spiderverse movie looks rough as hell.
can you imagine being at this con dressed as spiderman and this caravan passes by and you’re like “…I gotta go” and leave your friends in the dust
if u ever think ur being overly petty and bitter just remember there once was a portuguese prince whose dad assassinated the woman he loved & when he became king he literally had her body exhumed & placed upon the throne as his queen & forced the portuguese nobility (aka most of his father’s supporters) to pledge their alliance to her & kiss the hem of her clothes so that they would “render her when dead that homage which she had not received in her life” (x)
WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN GET THESE STORIES FROM???! DO YOU LIKE MAKE THEM UP OR SMTH??!
yeah… or i’m portuguese and know my history
okay so like, this is one of my favorite parts of Portuguese history
and it’s not because I have the same name as her or anything (even tho it’s definitely a factor - because how cool is that?!? - and I kinda used - and sometimes still use, let’s be real here - that as an excuse to call myself a queen because reASONS and shut up you would do the same)
but because that shit is like the stuff of legends and there is a whole myth surrounding their love story and the supposed place where she was killed - on the king’s orders near a fountain in the farm where she secretly lived with prince Pedro - because there’s a red stain there and it’s said that when she was stabbed she cried for the king’s men to spare her children (if memory serves me right) and her tears landed on the fountain and turned red because she was terribly devastated and in pain thinking only of her children and how she was going to leave them without a mother when in the last moments of her life…
and also, you know that prince? before he did that thing when he exhumed her just to make her ~officially~ his queen - and have everyone who ever opposed to them and their love kiss her clothes to pay her homage and the respect she did not have in life?? like that shit savage bro - he did another thing, even more savage than that
he searched the whole country for the two dudes who stabbed her (there was a third but I think he died or smth), even went to spain because one of them fled the country after the king died, and he fucking RIPPED their hearts out (one from the front and one from the back, because Inês was stabbed from both sides too) and tortured them in public, y'know, as you do
and that, my dear friends, is why the story of Pedro and Inês is considered one of the best love stories on our country (and I would say the world too because that shit better than anything Shakespeare or Nicholas Sparks ever wrote and it was fucking real)
my boy Pedro didn’t fuck around when you fucked with his lady, and you lyin’ if you say you don’t want you a freak like this - this Extra™, this ride or die, this savage - when it comes to love.
listen up, girls and boys, take note: follow their example and get yourselves a freak who would crown you queen after you were killed
TL;DR: basically Portuguese history has the best love story in the world and its the most savage thing you could imagine. go look it up - the story of Pedro and Inês. *mic drop*
Reblogging to add even more awesome contest to a previous reblog
https://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Keys
Somebody please read this I’ve been writing about keys for fucking eons. I close my eyes and all I fucking see are keys lmfao
This is highly commendable. I always appreciate when someone puts extreme effort into something i wouldn’t even conceive of.
Yelp is crazy unethical. Even before I heard about this nonsense, I worked at a small business in San Francisco whose customer traffic was directly influenced by their cesspool of a site.
Anyway, my supervisor and I worked hard to make sure every customer was happy. And we were succeeding! We had a perfect 5 star rating on Yelp! It was amazing! Then one day we got a 1 Star Rating on our Yelp Page. Someone from Pennsylvania left a nasty review on our site. It was scathing.
Now, that’s not something that’s too far out of the realm of possibility for my job. While I sold mattresses in a brick and mortar, we also sold mattresses via Amazon and our online store and people from all over the country purchased mattresses from us. But I digress. The reason this is important is, well, where it gets dicey for Yelp. Because sure enough, Yelp sent us an email telling us that if we paid some fee they would push all the bad reviews off the site. They were extorting money out of us!
And here’s where it gets really interesting. My supervisor contacted the customer to see if there was anything we could do to make them happy with their purchase, so they can change their review. But the customer in question had literally never heard of our company and obviously never purchased anything from us.
Yelp literally committed fraud, and it was only when we threatened to sue that they took the fraudulent review off of our page.
Yelp is awful.
surprises
